Playing Small: Identity, Self-Worth & Midlife Freedom with Therapist Niro Feliciano

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If you’ve ever talked yourself out of something you really wanted, told yourself it wasn’t the right time, or felt guilty for even wanting it, this episode is going to feel like a long exhale.
Therapist Niro Feliciano is back for Part 2, and we go deep into what it actually costs women when they stop investing in themselves, why women over 40 are sitting on the best years of their lives, and the simple mental shift that makes it possible to finally say yes to yourself without the guilt spiral.
We also talk about social media, self‑promotion, and the real reason most women won’t put themselves out there. Hint: it’s not what you think. Niro brings clinical insight. I bring the Disney World story and a strong opinion about cringe.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
What it costs a family long-term when the mother is the only one who doesn't invest in herself
Why trying new things is directly connected to cognitive health, brain development, and joy
How humility and confidence can coexist (the C.S. Lewis definition that will change how you think about showing up)
The real fear behind social media self-promotion and how to do a cost-benefit analysis on it
Why "climbing Cringe Mountain" might be the most important thing you do for your calling this year
What perimenopause actually does for your ability to stop people-pleasing
Why your 40s and 50s are not the beginning of the end
Timestamps:
(00:52) - What it costs a family when mom is the only one not being invested in
(01:11) - The modeling problem: what your kids are learning by watching you
(02:00) - Maintaining your identity beyond being a mother and partner
(02:41) - Why trying new things matters more than we think
(04:04) - The brain science behind learning new things (and Niro's hatchet throwing story)
(06:18) - Why Alli takes clients to Disney World twice a year
(08:15) - The Mother's Day vs. Father's Day double standard nobody talks about
(08:57) - What to say to the woman who has no real reason not to invest in herself
(09:43) - The permission exercise: what would you say to a woman you love?
(18:36) - C.S. Lewis on humility, and why it changes everything about social media
(17:57) - The common roadblock for Christian women who want to build a business
(20:16) - The real fear behind not wanting to post (it's not self-promotion)
(20:47) - How to do a cost-benefit analysis on putting yourself out there
(22:33) - Climbing Cringe Mountain: the cost of admission for doing anything that matters 23:56 - What it costs a family when mom is the only one not being invested in
(23:26) - Rapid-fire wrap-up: Niro's current favorites
Links to great things we discussed:
Niro’s Website
NIro’s TV Recommendation - Love Story
Niro’s Book Recommendation - Strangers
Niro’s Product Recommendation - SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic
Function Health
Uplift App
Wise Woman Era
Alli on YouTube
I hope you loved this episode! 🎉 Don't forget to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so you’re always in the loop. And hey, while you're at it, why not pop over to our YouTube channel and check us out? If you're feeling the love, leave a review and sprinkle some stars because your support truly means the world to me! Take care, and keep shining bright!
xo,
Alli