Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
How to Break Relationship Patterns: Resolving Conflict and Communicating Your Needs
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Show notes
Most relationships, romantic or otherwise, tend to get stuck in predictable patterns of conflict. This episode is about how to resolve that conflict, and get things moving again. Dr. Rick and Forrest draw on Rick's decades of work with couples and families to talk about getting on the same team, healthy boundaries, making clear requests, differentiation, and the pursuer-distancer dynamic. The episode closes with Forrest and his fiancée, associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira, on fixing versus feeling, and how they worked through it in their own relationship.
Key Topics:
00:00: Intro
01:30: What Rick wishes couples did differently
09:22: How to ask for what you want
16:36: Differentiation and family systems
28:33: When both people are right: content vs. tone
37:58: Why fighting can feel good
42:09: The pursuer-distancer dynamic
47:15: Resentment and requests about the future
55:33: Fixing vs. feeling with Elizabeth
1:06:59: Recap
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